*Trusting in the Lord*

Forewarning to everyone that reads this: raw emotion will be exemplified as I take you down this road of "Trust"

 
In the Webster dictionary the definition of trust says: a belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.

So what is trust to you? Think about it, do you have trust that your car will start? Do you have trust that there will be food for you to eat? Do you have trust that you will be taken care of in all areas of your needs?

When you want something to go your way, and it doesn't. It is so hard to have that trust in God.

God is the Father of our spirits, He is our Loving Heavenly Father, he loves us infinitely. Though when you want something it is hard to realize that God has a perfect plan for each of us.


Throughout the course of the year of 2014, There have been MANY moments of pure heartbreak that I have gone through...

Are they fun? Nope! There was one heartbreak that I was super devastated by, cause reality was I wanted to marry this kid. When it didn't happen I wondered REALLY!?!? I was on YouTube one day and came across a Katy Perry song, yes I know out of all people...... Haha

The name of the song is Firework, the part where she say's "If you only knew what the future holds, After a hurricane comes a rainbow, maybe the reason why all the doors are closed, so you could open one that leads you to the perfect road." That really stuck with me, If we knew what the future held for us would
we be stuck on that one guy that took our heart and tore it apart? Take a moment to be sad, and then pick yourself up and move forward!

There have been so many opportunities for me to trust in the Lord regarding relationships, in wonders what he has in store for me. I feel the strength from my faith in God in regards to these sacred opportunities to find "trust."

There was one recent heartbreak that I went through that I had to decide weather or not I was going to end the friendship or be mature enough to allow us to continue to be friends. I honestly was DONE! I was done with the hurt, sadness, and tears. Though through prayer and trust I was mature enough to continue to be his friend.

Thank Goodness cause this young man has become a blessing to me in a lot of ways. I can't imagine NOT having him in my life, especially with the wisdom that he possesses.


The knowledge that God is aware of each of us, and knows our desires is such a comfort to me.

Soooo, How do you trust in God?

I will share with you how I put my trust in my Heavenly Father. I strive to Keep the Commandments, Praying constantly to him, Studying the Scriptures, Serving others around me, Loving others unconditionally, Following the promptings of the Holy Ghost, as we follow the promptings of the spirit we learn to trust in those promptings that God gives to us.


A friend told me recently about a time where he was wanting something to happen immediately and it took more time then he expected. As he told me this I was thinking about the "challenge" that I was undergoing at that VERY moment and how I wanted everything to be immediate, I honestly wanted it right then!

My patients level was totally gone, it was non-existent in that moment. Though, as my friend was telling me this story. I had a calming assurance of the Spirit to be still. To be calm, and to be patient, that God is overall.

Trusting in the Lord can be very difficult, though as hard as it is to say it is totally WORTH it!

Be obedient to him. A scripture that comes to my mind at this time reads: I the Lord am bound when you do what I say; But when you do NOT what I say, ye have no promise. Doctrine and Covenants 82:10

The Teacher who made a Difference

Many people come in and out of your life, and can touch your life for the better. As my mind reflects on this last semester of college I can't help but, be brought back to a professor who changed my life FOREVER!

As you put your whole soul into getting an education, and sincerely loving your professors with the pure love of Christ it is inevitable to pray for them and there families. And I can testify to each of you who read this, when you pray for others your love for them increases. I can promise you it happens.

This is what occurs with me, as I continue to keep this professor and his family in my prayers. I know that God loves each of them so much, and has great plans for them! As I have prayed for this Family, I have felt the Love that God has for them, and I continue to see glimpses of how REAL that love is. God is our loving Heavenly Father and he loves this AMAZING family.

At the beginning of last semester I was super stoked to be in school, I felt that my classes would be more balanced, then the first semester I attended.

As the semester progressed, and I received my first test grade back in this one particular class, it was NOT what I desired. I was trying really hard to figure out how to study, and I wasn't really grasping the concept on what the best thing for me was.

After the next test came back, I was really down about how my test grades were coming, I was doing well on everything else but, that. I thought well, I need to go talk to my instructor.

As I went to him he took the time for me to talk to him, he looked over my test for me where he figured out where my weakness was in my study habits, and gave me advice that will benefit me for the rest of my educational pursuits, and helping me with getting good grades that I will make in the future.

Every time I think about this professor, I can't help but get choked up inside. He changed my life. Not only was he my professor, he was also my adviser where he was able to give me advice for my life. I will hold those times very dear to my heart<3

And I hope that I was able to return a little bit of something, for EVERYTHING he did for me. I don't think words, or even my actions can define the influence of this one professor, he by far get's the number 1 spot of teachers who made a difference in my life.

*IF Ye HaVe DeSiReS tO SeRvE GoD Ye ArE CaLLEd to tHe WoRk*

Therefore, O ye that embark in the ^aservice of God, see that ye ^bserve him with all your heart, might, mind and strength, that ye may stand ^cblameless before God at the last day. Doctrine and Covenants 4:2

I am coming on my 1 year mark of being home, off my mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. As my mind reflects of all the things that have occurred in my life, the triumphs, tragedies, disappointments, lessons learned, strength obtained, I would like to take the world down a path of being a return missionary.

My last day in the mission field I was heading to Santa Rosa, California. Many thoughts were surrounding me, not knowing what the future held. Frazzled, if that's a word.....That's what I was feeling... Hard to explain, unless you have gone through it yourself.

Was I really prepared for what was to come, I remember a couple of days before my departure I was telling Heavenly Father how much I didn't want to go home, that I wanted to stay a missionary,
for forever! I remember grabbing a picture of the Savior and just held it. It was as if I felt him literally hugging me, and saying that everything was going to be okay!

The day I left the mission Heavenly Father blessed me in many different ways. I had the privilege of sitting by a sweet girl that was struggling with life, and I was able to testify to her the reality of the love that God had for her, and as a missionary you feel that love that much more that God has for others! It's true ask any missionary, and they can testify of that truth.

The air flight assistants were so kind and sweet

to me, they could see how anxious of how I was feeling. The moment of seeing my family was an amazing opportunity, Not everyone was able to make it to the airport. Though there love and support was greatly received from me<3 When you put your whole soul into serving the Lord the reality of not being able to serve in that capacity is hard to take in.

I remember being in denial, that I was home off the mission. I put my whole soul into serving the Lord, and my heart is still with the people of California. I can't wait for the day to go back! :)

 I remember the moment I went into the office of  my stake president, who is in charge of releasing missionaries. He talked to me for a while, I was just in this denial of being home. I really didn't want to go home off the mission.

I could always tell when he would try and release me, and I would try and get him distracted from it. I remember asking for a priesthood blessing. And in that blessing he released me! Sneaky, Sneaky! He allowed me to go home, and take off my badge. The. Hardest. Thing. To. Do. Was knowing that I wasn't going to be able to put that name tag on anymore :(

It broke my heart :(  Any missionary will tell you that taking off your name tag is the hardest thing EVER! But, I felt that my mission was not over it was just going to be different without the nametag.


Now here comes the roller coaster! I didn't know what to do with my life. Missionary Work was my life. I was living the dream, nothing will be able to compare to what I had just experienced!

I promised myself to NEVER go back to who I was before the mission!

I remember praying to Heavenly Father asking what I should do with my life. Where should I live? Where should I go to school? Where should I work? How am I going to afford a car? I was expecting to be listened too, like I was as a missionary! Should I stay at home? Or should I move somewhere else? Hmmmm.......

I quickly learned that God does hear me and answer my prayers. But, they are not answered as fast as they were as a missionary! Missionaries are very special to Heavenly Father, and has a special place in his heart!

As you can imagine, I was being pulled in many directions by people. People and there opinions............ Sheesh! Yes. I value them, though who's opinion matters more? Gods, or humans? Of course, God's opinion would be of the most importance. I love him so much! One of the hardest things for me is when God allows me to make a decision on my own, and after I have made a choice he then confirms if I am on the right track or not.

I felt like that guy in the picture. Being pulled in many different directions. I wasn't sure what to do. I learned that with whatever decision you make if you are striving to live righteous, God will bless the situations you are undergoing. And put people in your path that need you, and who you need as well.

A talk that Elder Jeffery R. Holland gave to the missionaries in the Missionary Training Center back in 2011, where he shared with them that when you signed up to be a missionary, it was for forever!

When I signed up to be a missionary, I signed up to testify to the world that I KNOW that Jesus Christ lives! That I know he is in the details of our lives! Even now that I don't have a name tag on, I am still needed in Gods plan. and I will testify even if I am the last one on the battle field!

These past 12 months have not been the easiest....... They actually have been quite hard! Satan definitely tries to get you to forget the experiences, he tries to tell you that you didn't make a difference. But, we know better!

I am still going strong! You may ask what keeps you going? Why continue to try when your plans haven't worked out, when you felt that a prayer was answered, and turned out to be not what you expected.Though difficult to bear, I put my trust in the Lord. He knows me, doesn't he? Why wouldn't I trust him. His plans are far greater then mine.

I want to be able to stand before God and tell him that I have done my best! When the people whom I worked with on my mission see me again, I want them to know I was real with them, when I taught them! That the commitments I gave to them, meant something to me not just doing my duty for just a time, but that I meant it and I will do it forever! I want them to know that I am striving to live those standards too! That they are not alone! I will continue to be there missionary for forever!

Though I don't have a missionary badge on anymore, I have to remind myself that I am needed as much here in this area as I was in the full time missionaries side of the line! The pace of post-mission life is much slower then the full time missionary life, which took some time for me to get used too. Cause I have a go-go-go personality.

A missionary in this area told me once, When you take care of your spiritual needs first, your temporal needs will be met. What wise words from a young man that didn't know me at the time, didn't know what I was going through. But, said exactly what I needed to hear! That's when I know for certain that God knows me and what I am going through.

Life has it's challenges but, how thankful I am to know that there is a bigger picture. That God is aware of me, and has a plan for each of us! Being a return missionary has it's pro's and con's and it is not easy coming home. You have to go through it, to understand. How grateful I am for the many people God put in my path to help me through these difficult times! When you serve with all your heart, might, mind, and strength it will be hard to come home.


The Atonement of Jesus Christ is REAL! I am evidence of that, I know that God is our loving Heavenly Father. HE. IS. In. The. Details. Of. Our. Lives!

My mission means EVERYTHING to me, I don't go a day without thinking about someone, an experience I had, Life changing events, something about my mission is always on my mind. I am in love with the people that I served! I will hold these memories close to me for forever!

Advice to the missionary who just got home? I'm sorry, it will get easier with time! Keep yourself busy! Don't forget the people! They love you, and YOU! You! are there missionary! Don't forget them! It doesn't matter how tough it gets, How did you endure hardships on the mission?!?!? Go about it in the Lords way and you will never be led astray.